Husband and Wives Store

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
(scroll and keep reading!)

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Give Thanks For YOU

It’s so easy to say “Be Thankful” when you’re feeling good and thankful…but I know that if you’re feeling blue…you don’t really feel like thanking anyone for anything.

When you’re not really feeling ‘blessed,” it’s challenging to say your blessings.

And yet – that’s the way out of the rubble.  That’s the way from the blues to the greens to the yellows, the oranges, the reds….the whole rainbow.

Here’s a simple Exercise – it’s called The Three Blessings:

Before bed, simply find three things you might consider as blessings in your life, and say them.

For me, I could see my dog and say I feel blessed to have my dog near me. I could feel blessed that I had a good dinner and a glass of water. I could feel blessed to have a window next to the bed, so I can see green plants and flowers.

The next night, it might be three different things.  Makes no difference how big or small. The point is just to bring your attention to something that you can think of like a blessing and that feels like a blessing (no matter what else the thought of anything at all being a blessing triggers in you).

If you try to think of the Three Blessings exercise as a way to “think positively” – you’ll trigger yourself more intensely – so try “formatting” it for yourself this way…

It’s just a way to sort of “clear the lens” you’re looking at the world through.

A way to “readjust” the projector of your perspective.

A way to “reset” your “internal viewpoint.”

A way to work with your mind, instead of focusing on your circumstances.

If you look at the exercise in this gentle way, and do it gently – you might find it kind of fun and good feeling.

For me – my first blessing is you. The fact that you’re here, that you’re a part of this community, that you care, that you’re sharing love and honoring other women and working hard to change your “view” and try new thoughts on for size, that you’re willing to dive deep into the inner sea of your feelings and let them carry you through the world – that’s magic.

Let me know what your Three Blessings are tonight, and though I don’t believe I have any power to bless, if I did, it would feel incredible to be able to shower you all with blessings…so, because it feels so good to even consider it – I’ll just do it.

Blessings to you!

A smile from a stranger
 when u r lost in a crowd,

 ... An old friendcalling u from a distant land
 just to say ‘ I miss u’, 

 The touch of ur mother’s hand on ur brow
 when u r unable to sleep,

 A msg from a friend asking ‘What’s wrong with u?’ ,
 when u thought no one could notice,

 And a hand on ur shoulder when it feels that the world is against u,
  An unexpectedhug,

 Some times it is the tiniest of things that bring a smile in hard times!!!!!!!!

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Healthy relationships bring happiness and health to our lives. Studies show that people with healthy relationships really do have more happiness and less stress. There are basic ways to make relationships healthy, even though each one is different…parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, professors, roommates, and classmates. Here are Ten Tips for Healthy Relationships!

Ten Tips For Healthy Relationships

1. Keep expectations realistic. No one can be everything we might want him or her to be. Sometimes people disappoint us. It’s not all-or-nothing, though. Healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not trying to change them!
2. Talk with each other. It can’t be said enough: communication is essential in healthy relationships! It means—

• Take the time. Really be there.
• Genuinely listen. Don’t plan what to say next while you’re trying to listen. Don’t interrupt.
• Listen with your ears and your heart. Sometimes people have emotional messages to share and weave it into their words.
• Ask questions. Ask if you think you may have missed the point. Ask friendly (and appropriate!) questions. Ask for opinions. Show your interest. Open the communication door.
• Share information. Studies show that sharing information especially helps relationships begin. Be generous in sharing yourself, but don’t overwhelm others with too much too soon.

3. Be flexible. Most of us try to keep people and situations just the way we like them to be. It’s natural to feel apprehensive, even sad or angry, when people or things change and we’re not ready for it. Healthy relationships mean change and growth are allowed!

        4. Take care of you. You probably hope those around you like you so you may try to please them. Don’t     forget to please yourself. Healthy relationships are mutual!

       5. Be dependable. If you make plans with someone, follow through. If you have an assignment deadline, meet it. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Healthy relationships are trustworthy!

       6. Fight fair. Most relationships have some conflict. It only means you disagree about something, it doesn’t have to mean you don’t like each other! When you have a problem:

• Negotiate a time to talk about it. Don’t have difficult conversations when you are very angry or tired. Ask, "When is a good time to talk about something that is bothering me?" Healthy relationships are based on respect and have room for both.
• Don’t criticize. Attack the problem, not the other person. Open sensitive conversations with "I" statements; talk about how you struggle with the problem. Don’t open with "you" statements; avoid blaming the other person for your thoughts and feelings. Healthy relationships don’t blame.
• Don’t assign feelings or motives. Let others speak for themselves. Healthy relationships recognize each person’s right to explain themselves.
• Stay with the topic. Don’t use a current concern as a reason to jump into everything that bothers you. Healthy relationships don’t use ammunition from the past to fuel the present.
• Say, "I’m sorry" when you’re wrong. It goes a long way in making things right again. Healthy relationships can admit mistakes.
• Don’t assume things. When we feel close to someone it’s easy to think we know how he or she thinks and feels. We can be very wrong! Healthy relationships check things out.
• Ask for help if you need it. Talk with someone who can help you find resolution—like your RA, a counselor, a teacher, a minister or even parents. Check campus resources like Counseling Services at 532-6927. Healthy relationships aren’t afraid to ask for help.
• There may not be a resolved ending. Be prepared to compromise or to disagree about some things. Healthy relationships don’t demand conformity or perfect agreement.
• Don’t hold grudges. You don’t have to accept anything and everything, but don’t hold grudges—they just drain your energy. Studies show that the more we see the best in others, the better healthy relationships get. Healthy relationships don’t hold on to past hurts and misunderstandings.
• The goal is for everyone to be a winner. Relationships with winners and losers don’t last. Healthy relationships are between winners who seek answers to problems together.
• You can leave a relationship. You can choose to move out of a relationship. Studies tell us that loyalty is very important in good relationships, but healthy relationships are NOW, not some hoped-for future development

     7. Show your warmth. Studies tell us warmth is highly valued by most people in their relationships. Healthy relationships show emotional warmth!

     8. Keep your life balanced. Other people help make our lives satisfying but they can’t create that satisfaction for us. Only you can fill your life. Don’t overload on activities, but do use your time at college to try new things—clubs, volunteering, lectures, projects. You’ll have more opportunities to meet people and more to share with them. Healthy relationships aren’t dependent!

    9. It’s a process. Sometimes it looks like everyone else on campus is confident and connected. Actually, most people feel just like you feel, wondering how to fit in and have good relationships. It takes time to meet people and get to know them…so, make "small talk"…respond to others…smile…keep trying. Healthy relationships can be learned and practiced and keep getting better!

    10. Be yourself! It’s much easier and much more fun to be you than to pretend to be something or someone else. Sooner or later, it catches up anyway. Healthy relationships are made of real people, not images! 

Suppandi - comic character in Tinkle Digest and his jokes

Suppandi , the comic charcter made his debut in Tinkle No.27 in Jan ’83.  The best...creation from anant pai's house...  suppandi jokes r evergreen....they r great when u r feelin low..  Suppandi my all time favourite,he is stupid but cute.I just go on and on laughing !Here r some of his .......

 

1

Suppandi Master: Suppandi, go and stop a taxi, I have to go to Chennai right away. 
Suppandi: Yes master. 

After a while-
Suppandi: Master I could not find a single empty taxi, all of them had atleast one man sitting in them.

2   

Suppandi Suppandi's new master was the owner of a departmental store.

Master: Suppandi, before giving the clothes to the customers always open
it and check it for defects.

That evening-

Customer: One film roll please.

Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing? Why have you opened 
the film roll?

Suppandi: I was checking it for defects, master.

3 

Suppandi One day Suppandi was shouting at a couple of children telling them not to make a noise. His master told him that shouting was a bad habit and one should not shout. Then one morning-

 Master: We have been robbed of everything Suppandi!

 Suppandi: I know, I saw the thief last night.

 Master: But then why didn't you shout for help? 

Suppandi: You only told me that shouting was a bad habit.

4

Suppandi : What are you doing master?

 Master: I am writing a novel.

 Suppandi: Why are you doing that when you can simply buy it from the market?

5

Suppandi Master: Go to the market and get a mirror so that i can see my face and shave!!

Suppandi: Yes master!!Goes to the market and returns home without a mirror.

 Master: Why didn't you get a mirror?

 Suppandi: Because in all the mirrors i could see only my face.

6

Suppandi Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside to dry.

 Suppandi: Why? 

Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes. A little later-

 Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun?

 Suppandi: I was trying to dry my sweat.

7

Suppandi Suppandi was dialing the phone to his friend.

 Master: Suppandi don't talk on the phone for more than 3 minutes. After about ten minutes.

 Master: Suppandi, I told you not to talk on the phone for so long.

 Suppandi: I didn't master. I talked only for three minutes, the rest of the time I have been listening.

8

Suppandi : Master did u see the news? Its raining in Mumbai!

 Master: So?

 Suppandi: Our TV will get wet so i covered it with raincoat!

9

 One day at lunch- 

Master: Suppandi, why have you cooked only one dish, you must always do a little extra than what I tell you to do, more never hurts. That evening-

 Master: Suppandi, get me a cup of tea. A little later-

 Master: What is this? Why have you got me 4 cups of tea?

 Suppandi: You only said, a little extra never hurts.

10

Suppandi Master: Suppandi go and get one tomato. Remember to get it from the place you get it the cheapest. That night-

 Master: Suppandi I had only told you get one tomato, what took you so long?

 Suppandi: I had caught a train and had gone to a village 100 miles from here which grows tomatoes. There they were the cheapest.

11

Suppandi in IT field:

Master- My wife wants to remove wrinkles, pimples, facemarks and the signs ok skin aging.What should she do?

Suppandi- Simple...Try Adobe Photoshop...It really works!

Stress Relief Tips & Techniques: Top 10 Stress Relievers

      

               Body has a "bouncing-back" quality of recovering from extremely stressful situations. But, if you remain under stress for prolonged periods, it wears down the fighting capacity of the body and the mind. To remain healthy, mentally and physically, it is important to take necessary steps for stress relief and keep stress levels within manageable limits. 

      Relaxation: Adopt some relaxation technique, like deep breathing, progressive muscle            relaxation, visualization, Yoga, etc., and learn to relax. The relaxation experience can be achieved by following these simple steps

1.    Sit quietly in a comfortable position.

2.    Close your eyes.

3.    Deeply relax all your muscles, beginning at your feet and progressing up to your face. Keep them relaxed.

4.    Breathe through your nose. Become aware of your breathing. As you breathe out, say the word, "one", silently to yourself. For example, breathe in ... out, "one",- in .. out, "one", etc. Breathe easily and naturally.

5.    Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. You may open your eyes to check the time, but do not use an alarm. When you finish, sit quietly for several minutes, at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes opened. Do not stand up for a few minutes.

6.    Do not worry about whether you are successful in achieving a deep level of relaxation. Maintain a passive attitude and permit relaxation to occur at its own pace. When distracting thoughts occur, try to ignore them by not dwelling upon them and return to repeating "one." With practice, the response should come with little effort. Practice the technique once or twice daily, but not within two hours after any meal, since the digestive processes seem to interfere with the elicitation of the Relaxation Response.

      Meditation:  Many people attach spiritual values to it, but you can also practice it as a secular stress relief exercise. The meditation is able to induce deep relaxation, and is very good for health in the long term. 

        Exercise : Exercise is good not only for your physical health but also for your mental health. It releases pent up frustrations, relaxes your muscles, releases 'endorphins' – the 'feel good' hormones, deceases stress hormones, and helps you sleep better. Make it a part of your everyday routine. 

        Massage: A massage session is very relaxing and has been proven to lower cortisol, the stress hormones. Aromatherapy massage is even more effective. The massage is given using some essential oils which seep into the blood stream and help in calming down the brain, ease stress and in getting you a relaxing sleep

        Guided Imagery: Visualizing yourself in calm surroundings, imagining every small detail, can have a very soothing experience and can help in relaxing your frayed nerves.

        Music: Stress relief through music therapy is a universal phenomenon.  Playing music in the background, even though you are busy in some other activity and are not aware of the music, also reduces stress levels.

        Deep Breathing: The quality and depth of breathing has a great role to play in controlling stress levels and maintaining good physical health. Practicing a simple deep breathing exercise will help you in reducing stress levels and uplifting your spirits in a very short while.

         Aroma Therapy: Many essential oils, or plant essences, are known for their stress relief qualities. The essential oils used in aromatherapy can be inhaled directly, added to the bath, massaged into the skin or used as a perfume to scent your room.

          Self Hypnosis: Its power lies in positive auto-suggestion. It reduces stress hormones and is very effective in reducing stress levels and controlling anxiety and depression. You can take the help of self-hypnosis to bring about positive changes in your life style.

         Humor: Laughter is one of the most effective therapies for stress relief and bringing down levels of anxiety. Humor has also some psychological benefits: it helps you in taking things light heartedly, breaking out of the stress producing thoughts, increasing your sense of satisfaction, and making your job more meaningful. It also helps you in relating to others around you.

Time Management

How you relate to time depends on what you focus on. Perhaps you spend your time thinking about the future or maybe you tend to live in the moment.

If you are future orientated you tend to be very aware of time and always wondering what you are going to do next. Planning and prioritising techniques work well for you keeping you goal focused and on time for appointments. In addition to that use the following tips to make most of your time:

• • Know what you want to achieve and keep focused on the end result.
  • Work from a prioritised daily "to do" list, ticking off completed items as you go.
  • Change your diaries and organisers to display the weeks and months ahead at a glance.
  • Imagine how you will feel when you have completed your task.

If you tend to live in the moment, you will find that traditional time management tips and techniques are not that effective for you. You may find yourself deeply engrossed in your work and time may lapse without your realisation. Your ability to multitask allows you to start many projects at one time, yet this may leave you overcommitted or even forgetting important appointments. Use the following tips to optimise your time:

• Use timers or alarms to increase your awareness of how long you are spending on task.
• Discipline yourself to complete tasks before starting new ones.
• Break down large goals into step by step tasks.
• Use a page a day diary or organiser.
• Learn to say 'no' when you are over committing yourself.
• De clutter your office, your projects and your 'to do' lists on a regular basis.
• Focus you mind by asking the question "what is the best use of my time right now?"

Day by day, we are presented with the necessity to achieve more in less time. Whether you are future orientated or live in the moment, self management is the key to managing your time effectively. 

How do you think about time and what can you do to make the most of it? 

       

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Greater Self-Confidence in 5 Steps

Are there times when you doubt yourself and your abilities? Have you missed out on opportunities because you felt you were not talented enough, lacked education or felt unattractive?

Time and time again, I coach people who have lots of talent and wonderful ability, yet for various reasons they are filled with self-doubt. They give up on their dreams, settle for less and become stuck in a rut due to lack of self-confidence. It is no wonder that those who lack self-confidence are less adventurous, get less out of life and always underachieve.

Having self-confidence is crucial to living a fulfilling life. It influences your success at work, your relationships with others and your performance in everything you do. Confident people have faith in themselves and their abilities and they believe that that they can have the best in life.

The good news is that confidence is a skill, it can be learned, and just like driving a car, it can become a habit. As you know, we don't even have to think about our habits as they are part of us.

Apply the following 5 steps to greater self-confidence and you'll soon notice positive changes:


Step 1 - Decide to Become Self-Confident
Write out the answer to the following two questions:

- What would your life be like if you were confident? 
- What would self-confidence mean to you? 

Based on your answer make a decision today to invest your time, effort and money in becoming self-confident. Read books about self-confidence, listen to confidence building audios, attend confidence building workshops and consult with a coach who specialises in confidence coaching.


Step 2 -Become More Self-AwareLearn to develop an awareness of your unique individuality. When you know and understand yourself at a deeper level, you will have greater control over your thoughts, feelings and attitudes which in turn will help you build greater self-confidence.

Step 3 -Act with Confidence
If you want to feel confident; act with confidence. When you think confidently, walk confidently and talk confidently, it will easily and effortlessly become natural for you to be confident.

Step 4 -Use your Imagination
When you use your imagination to visualise yourself being confident, you are impressing very powerful images onto your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind stores images and the more you visualise yourself being confident the more it becomes part of our life. Whenever your subconscious mind accepts an idea, it immediately begins to execute it


Step 5 - Believe in Yourself
It is not your actual abilities that determine what you can achieve but your belief in them. It is essential that you let go of limiting beliefs that hinder your progress and develop empowering ones that assist your development. Often we are like the fish that does not even realise it is in water. When you work with a coach you will identify and eliminate those limiting beliefs that hinder your progress. 


In order to achieve what you want in life, you must develop your self-confidence. Begin today to create a new and confident you, that uses and values your talents and creates the life you want. Break free from self-doubt and learn to trust in yourself and your abilities. With greater self-confidence, you will feel inner strength, greater happiness and much more fulfilled. Begin today to sow the seeds of confidence and you will be amazed with the results and positive effects that ripple through all areas of your life.